A mini getaway from tears.

I need a place to rant so I'm back here. Had a quarrel with mom via whatsapp, I really don't get it. Why give birth to me when you're not ready for a child like that? Yes, you may say you'd never thought someone like you would give birth to someone like me and how mighty you're and how horrible I'd be. But fuck my life, not like I want to be like this. Okay, maybe you think I've a choice but I don't want to spend my this life being someone to please you instead of being myself.

You said you know me best but no, you don't at all. I can't even be myself infront of you because you're judgmental, you can't accept me for who I am and label all my friends as bad company. You'd never like me the way I am and definitely my pals too. Am I that lousy?

You said I looked down on you guys, I never once did. You always assume, you'd never once stood in my shoes. You're quick at assuming, you'd never once gave me a chance to speak for myself and when I do, it 
becomes an invalid argument because it's against you.
You twist the facts to get people to agree with you on how rebellious I am, how about times that I'm nice?
I guess nobody remembers the good parts about me. Remember that time I asked you to name some good points about me? 
You couldn't come out with any. Ha ha ha ha, actually me too.
It's okay, I'm never once good.

Like I said, you do not want a daughter, just someone to make you proud. I can't be that someone, so I'm always unwanted, always abandoned.
If I could be that someone, I would love to. I'd never get love from this family anyway, not fatherly love and very little of motherly love. 
A home? How does it feels like when it's warm?
To me, home is just a place to sleep in. Somewhere better than sleeping outside.
I hate myself. Hate myself for being incompetent.
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Does anyone knows the feeling of waking up everyday feeling unwanted? Feeling you lack love?
The person that gave birth to you tries to bring you down everytime she has a chance to? I've plenty of friends, I met people that were rude 
and morons that would make nasty remarks about me. But none of them were up to my mother's standard, not only losing her in sarcasms, 
her words were like sharp daggers stabbing through you and making you remember the significant pain in every word she spoke.
Sometimes, I wonder why do I deserve this kind of harsh treatment. Because I'm rude? But look, look at the way you reply me. 
How do you expect me to be talking nicely? I've a temper too..
Ridiculous, especially in the way you can always make me cry so easily.
I cared too much, about you and your opinions which I never did towards anyone else's. Fuck, why?
Even as typing this, I'm tearing.
Goodbye.