Good ol' days with my girls. ♥

Hi there, I've pictures so I'm gonna blog. If there's still any readers left, do help me click on my nuffnang or ask me anything on formspring! Gonna blog about 23rd Nov. :-) x
Okay, I'll shower right after this okay, promise!

Supposing to meet my buyer but baby and I lost our ways so we walked back to Amk hub and waited for Joan Sim! It's been ages since I met her for h2h talk, we did catch up abit when we headed over to Mos Burger to nom. So much to catch up yet so little time! We didn't even manage to talk when I headed down to her birthday party previously.

Bused to Bishan to meet Ahbear at his bbq. Hehe, kind of awkward because only knew him there and actually really had a packed schedule but it's been long since I met him so decided to head down! Knowing Ahbear since Sec 1 and this is the first picture taken with him, I really appreciate his presence in my life. He has been a really good pal, a good pair of listening ears and just like a big bear bro to me! ^_____^ Hopefully his soft-hearted character wouldn't be taken advantage of by others.

Oh, the picture on the left is to advertise my earring! Anyway it's a snake earring, available in silver/gold @ $8/pc. Later I'm gonna share why I decided to open a preorder on it!

Cabbed down to Punggol Park with bbygirl and dear, x. Stayed at the bbq less than an hour though, Jordan commented that my voice is still as high pitch as ever haha! So we're late but we managed to reach on time, Shuhui didn't turn up that day though.

Laykwan apps me the menu and I ordered, but my food was cold when I reached the place :-( Anyway, talking about this... my baby girl is cabbing down to find me now! I've got to wash my oily nose asap, hehe I'm doing the nose bridge thingy now. Regina darling came down later than us but she brought the polaroid camera with her, the amazing thing about her is that she can take polaroid pictures without the help of others! Okay ah maybe only I find it impressive!

Just now I met up with her and brought along the hazelnut milk tea she is craving for! <3

The girls waited for us before ordering alcohol. At first, we didn't thought of drinking much, we thought of trying only. Anyway, we spent the night at Wild Oats.

Then we decided to order a tower.

Darling Regina couldn't drink due to gastric problem and baby bought a bottle of whiskey and ordered 2 glasses of whiskey mixed with coke b/c she couldn't take beer. She was the first to get drunk btw.. lol.

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26/11. Oops, I just woke up. I shall continue blogging, stopped halfway because baby came over for me and while we're having late night supper, Weikian lost his keys when he went to club, so we accompanied him till 9am!

Oh! And remember previously I mentioned that I'm suppose to meet my buyers to pass them their stuffs? We're too tipsy that we lost everything omg so angry. Got to reorder for my buyers... bye bye $$$!
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The Toffee Apple Cider was better than I thought and lychee martini was okay. While they are drinking, I have yet to finish up my dinner yet hehe.

Kept making Meici and Laykwan drink with me in a gulp! Laykwan drink so slowly so she keep getting penalty drinks and as for Brenda, we kept trying to make her drunk because she's so bloody noisy, we hope she would shut up after getting drunk. But uh oh... our mistakes.

Vernice didn't turn up that day due to personal matters. And anyway all these people are those that I really appreciate, knew them since I was 13 and they have been one of the best things that ever happened to me. They have been giving me moral support, have been pulling me back when I walked the wrong paths. I couldn't imagine where would I'd be without their help.

Those that look ordinary may turn out extraordinary. I'm just thankful to have all my darlings with me through thicks and thins especially petite Regina Lee. ♡

Hehe, now I look at myself, I feel so glad that my appearance changed! Omg you don't know how hideous I looked in my past, later I'll post a picture of myself in the past. This is my best friend, the one that I'll do whatever to keep, whatever to protect from harm.

"There's people with plenty of friends out there and yet couldn't find one that's true to them and lucky for me, I've found my best friend. Regina Leelingksien x Regina Sofybodyfit, thanks for being a part of my life, you've always been amazing. ♡ This 5 years of sistership became an unbreakable bond and looking back, we may change alot on the outside but we're still the same in the inside. I'll still get crazy with you, be there for you, always. The promise that we'll hold till our last breath, I love you. ♥♥♥"

Anyway, I decided to go center-parting b/c I kicked off the habit of using a comb since then! So pissed off, other than losing customer's items.. I don't know who knocked me then I dropped the tail of my snake earring :-( Then I couldn't wear it back already... how sad!!!
(T  ^  T)

Went for smoking sessions, insane Brenda started dancing lol... it was drizzling a little. We finished our first tower and drunk Khayen decided to pay for the 2nd tower so we open another one. Their faces are redder than mine, lol!

♡ HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO SAMANTHA ONG ♡

Sweet 16 already huh? Hope you enjoyed your night with us! ( ^ ______ ^ )

The chocolate cake was great hehe. The polaroid turned out okay for the group picture but as for the one taken through iphone... looked horrible. My short petite girl became skinnier x skinnier then what about me? FATTER AND FATTER. Rly is zen me ban yeah~~~

The manager or whoever actually gotten a drink for Samantha, I think it's pretty cool though but Sam kept choking on it hehehe. I don't know if it's on the house, I doubt so? Hehe I wasn't too clear! Anyway on the right is a picture taken with red monkey ass heh heh!

Khayen ordered finger food and because it's getting late, they switched our tables to outside and wtf.... they cleared the finger food too..... I was so hungry and got nothing to nom! ( T ^ T ) Sam's 2 other friends came very late afterwards too.

I played finger games with Laykwan and omg I cannot keep drinking ah because too gassy, I kept having the feel to puke. And I seriously thought I could be the last one standing hahahaha, action much!

After drinking one last glass with one of the workers there, I cannot tank already. Puke and it came out from my nose too.... ~( T w T )~ What is going on! Then Khayen was drunk but she got to take care of me, sober Regina and Cici cabbed back with us and I don't know what's going on...

I knew Meici alighted first, babyna sent me to my doorstep and I actually had 2nd round of vomiting there and came out from my nose again, absolutely disgusting yo!! The mad part is that when I got up, baby told me I actually force Regina to kiss goodbye with me hahahahaha, poor girl!! Thanks baby for taking care of me, anyway darling and I jitao toh once we lied on the bed, LOL!

Hehe childish anot the past? This is around 13-14years old when I still got my short hair! Okay.. this is really embarrassing but we really changed alot. Gonna post one last picture then I'm gonna end this already!

Hehe okay done, bye readers! ( ^ 3 ^ )

Lazy me on a lazy Sunday! ♡

Hello 大家好！I just woke up and since I've got nothing much to do recently, hahaha I'm not even working... gosh see how lazy I can get, so I will blog at least 2 posts hehe. Woke up this late because I waited for baby to be home since she would only be able to knock off at 4am with Laykwan. Was otp with Vernice and Yida.

Later I'll download maple private server. I miss the previous private server I'm playing, whenever I kill a monster, they will drop cash items. But it's no longer there anymore. If you guys got any recommendations, formspring me maybe?

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My parcel arrived and I'm so excited because I bought lots of flowers to brew tea and this delicate teapot! Oh guys, I'm doing a freestyle preorder, means whatever you want and can't find, you may fb msg me and I'll try to search it for you within your budget but the waiting time is between 2-4 weeks. The current most popular item is A&F shirts oh!

Anyway the cups cute anot? I got it from a cafe in Japan, you get the cup along with the beverage you order! I want to go back there one more time!!!!!

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Before I talk about ytd, I shall talk about the day baby and I decided to head down to Bugis to bai bai but we went to pass our buyers' stuffs then ate the day away and when we return to the temple, it's closed. (oT~To) Seriously not my fault b/c fat ass kept kpkb say want to eat.

That day was pretty busy. Baby got to head down to Amk to pass buyer then to Bishan, I've got to go Serangoon then meet her at Bishan then head down to Orchard together. Waited for Jordy for around half an hour? So embarrassing because he came out from nowhere and I'm taking pictures of myself haha. Afterwards, we still miss out a few. *sigh*

I got kind of pissed by some buyers later that day b/c we didn't earn much and provide free meet-ups, buyers tend to take advantage and demand us to their locations. Hello? I only provide meet-ups at mrt stations, else self-collection at my place. I won't entertain rude fucks, not like I earn $100+ from you, merely a few bucks and you expect me to tolerate your nonsense? Okay, dream on.

We were so fickle that day, we didn't know which restaurant to nom so we decided to go for MA MAISON. Although the outside of the restaurant don't look attractive but the inside was not bad. The waitresses there couldn't speak good English because they were from Japan but they are all so friendly and very polite.

Baby ordered chef's pizza. Okay lor, not very nice to eat. I ordered this prawn x scallop gratin, not bad for first mouth but slowly you'd get sick of it. Escagots were yummilicious and the equipment to eat them are uber cute! Baby always wanted to try escagots and she has this really picky tongue but surprisingly she loved that dish! ^________^ 

Was grumpy because the food expectation was kind of disappointing and that out of so many restaurants we ate, none left a deep impression in our minds. Sigh! Oh, the stores close quite early that day, 9pm and plenty of the stores closed. Wanted to shop around also can't. (oT^To) Baby very nice, because Felix asked her to buy him toys so she did hahahaha!

Baby stayed over at my place for 2 days, yay cudddddddles. But she's home already. shall talk on the phone with her. She very patient with Felix also, played monopoly with Yati x Felix as well as baby. We also ordered Mac delivery, my dad's treat! Hehe I now got feel for mac also but not ordering without my baby around! 

And french rose tea is really the best tea I've drank currently, I tend to put too much sugar or honey then baby would kpkb say I spoil the tea but walao seriously if not taste like water.

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You know normally we sleep very late when we are together, we'll watch movies and talk x drink tea, play games together. But we tucked in really early on 16th Nov, okay ah not really but we slept for 3 hours only?

I went to bathe and doll up while baby prepared breakfast, ate cup noodles. Then baby called the person in charge, she said have to tie hair then I got kind of frustrated because I looked really horrible with my hair up. Actually you can really tell from the photos, I show you below!

Funny right? Haha, I know okay. Then I went to tie my hair, thought of wearing my Stylenanda boots since I broke my black flats long time ago. But guess what? Khayen tan forgot to bring her I/C and our work place have CISCO, which means she can't get in so I doll up for nothing. What the fuck right.

Yes, yes. Petty me got angry x sad! I seldom doll up already, then I took an hour to doll up for nothing. Angry or not, you tell me! I've got to remove make-up but of course, cannot let my effort go to waste. So I photospam! But still abit unhappy at the thought of it.

Hehe now my mom ask me to pick my blind color, sigh.. all the sample also very ugly. I'll take a photo of my room soon after renovation, can't wait! I wanted the guy to paint polka dot for me but the guy say he can't do the job :( So requested for stripes instead. But sian, wonder how the outcome would be also. Sleeping at mom's room tonight, gonna sleep early b/c mom confirm nag! >:( Sucks to not have my own room for now. Anyway not me sleeping in the room only, is the whole entire family! SQQQQQQQQQUEEZYYYYYY.

Oh... ytd night the door knob broke because mom forced the door to close. Then I geikiang go and spoil it further by meddling with the parts inside. Then the locksmith broke the door, mom just pay a sum for it lol. But at least we're.. FREE. Franco couldn't come home last night, mom ask him to settle his night outside because we're all locked inside the house, hahaha funny not?

Hehe, I do look quite kiddish with my hair up right! I removed my make up after being angry at baby for around 2 hours. Plus she requested us to go out to get breakfasts, for what!!!!! 8am in the morning also cannot do much things. I removed make up with a very very grumpy face, then make some tea for myself. Peony tea sucks, I don't like it at all. Watched Andy Lau's film, hehe nice show!

Talking about shows, I used to like this character called PUCCA. Don't know if you guys heard of it. Then baby and I watched the first few episodes of it on Funshion and we were like, "Wtf did we just watched?" Lol kind of weird.

Heh heh, I 大发慈悲 take a gif with the guy that pissed me off in the morning and hehe looks kind of weird because I almost drop her phone while recording and she insists we keep it haha. I asked her to wash up and she go use my hello kitty cleansing milk to wash her face, saying it's my facial scrub! The purpose of it is to remove my make up la.... *facepalm* She rly got what use what lol.

I guess the second part of the post is more like a photo spam. I shall end it here already...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY 7 YEARS OLD BRO BRO,
JIE JIE LURBB EUU OKAY.  ♡

Hehe, he's not home yet anyway. Lucky boy went to legoland on his birthday, shiok lor. U-yu also abit grumpy at home recently, not so active already. The older he gets, the more grumpy he gets! >:-( Gonna find ways to cheer him up soon! Really not the typical kind of chinchilla out there, sigh.
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Did I mention how excited I am for Christmas?

Got Christmas feel anot this gif? Anyway, my Christmas will definitely be meaningful, it'll be a family activity! Will talk about it on that day, I'm already prepared for it!! Can't wait!! ( ^__________^ )

Have a good night guys, I'm going to get a bowl of sweet potato x tang yuan dessert now!
Meow meow.

How ungrateful some fuckers can get.

Hi! I just woke up. Anyway quarreled with some useless fuckers and I'm not so angry about it now but shall pretend to sound like I am. I'm just so glad that they are out of my baby's life as well as mine. (P/s: If my baby don't hang out with puppies like them, I don't get to see them at all!) Yay!

My friends knew about the matter, they were also angry about it as well. But they asked me to chill and said it's okay, since I did something about it already. Normally, when it comes to an argument, there would be two different stories. Obviously they are lying since they wanted face, I don't know how come people can get so thickskin nowsaday. For the words they say, I believe they hurt their friends. Lucky for me, no disappointment! If I recall the actual situation, it's kind of like a joke but they tweeted like they are some big time gangster though, the girl still said she would love to throw some punches at me but she cried that day and asked the police for help. The couple definitely were safe with the policemen escorting them home! Shan't say much like those barking pals. (Lol this is funny, they asked the policemen how come they reported spam on my tweets about them and twitter didn't do anything to me... lol because both of you are sore losers, duh.) Your injuries should be pretty serious huh? Hehe. It's okay to act strong.

Went to eat with Huiqin and baby at Mac after the incident and oh boy, we had a great time laughing! Smoking x talk session when Edlyn came to join us. Edlyn went off to find them while I board the same bus as Huiqin x baby then headed home before the guys. ^___________^ Had a good night sleeping because it was oh so fucking shiokkkkkk.
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Change topic time! Baby and me didn't go for school anymore, we weren't really interested in law course. I guess we'll go around working and see what interests us most! I forgot when we did what and at where, the most vivid memory far back currently is that we went to Dhoby Ghaut on the 12 of Nov.

We ate at Manhattan Fish Market.

Baby kept telling me how hungry she is but we were full when we finished the mussels. We ordered fried seafood platter and the portion was so huge, we sighed because we couldn't even finish a quarter of the platter. The atmosphere was horrible as the bunch of adults sitting right beside me were talking very loudly and they had so many stuffs that laid beside me. Was really uncomfortable and got to admit that it's not a pleasant eating environment, I felt so irritated! But baby and I woke up the next day having the feel to finish up the platter.. too late! (oT^To)

Btw Meici was in Taiwan previously but she came back already, her trip there makes me feel like going Taiwan so badly! But sigh, baby and I are currently planning for our Bangkok trip next year following by our Japan trip! Got to start saving up already, I already saved 5% hahaha okay, it's too little but at least I tried!

Bye bye people x.

Shattered pieces of heartfelt words.

Hi guys, I'm back to my abandoned space. Feeling pretty down now but I'll give a short update of my life before I proceed onto ranting about what's going on now. Well, I've been home for about a week since leaving this place for 3 months. For this 3 months, I had been staying with Khayen. Thanks for the hospitality and the cuddles we had every night and the memories we made, felt really cosy there. Was full of bed bugs' bite so I had plenty of scars around my limbs and I think it's kind of horrible because they looked like I've got skin disease or something. Will talk about that later.
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Cried till half of my pillow was drenched last night and woke up with fat eyelids. Sometimes I feel so suffocated, I want a break from everything but yet when I requested for one, I felt even more miserable than being suffocated rather than being release free. Then I woke up, feeling like I love Khayen Tan even more. But I always get questioned by her like if the promise I made to her was for real, the promise to be with her forever. Yes, I really meant it at that point of time but I don't know why as time passes, the commitment scares me and I feel like I want to run away from everything. I really hate being like that, always implying hurt to her.

Sometimes, I can't tolerate her clumsiness, but she's always trying to be caring and loving towards me which no guys ever did. She did better than any of my ex, any of the guy I ever met. But I really don't feel like settling down at the age of 17. It's not about love because I love her so much, I would cry even by the thought of her leaving or her face being washed by tears. If she's hurt, I swear to God that I would feel nothing lesser than the pain she goes through. But why am I so selfish? Why can't I commit while the girls out there make commitments like it's a must-to-do thing? I can't imagine being tied down by words, by promises, by confiscating all the freedom I used to have.

We created so many memories everywhere and everyday. I feel so comfortable with her like showing her my naked face or maybe snoring while I sleep or burp after I eat or hiccup loudly when I'm having it. It's like I don't feel embarrassed of being myself, like I show her my fats and how big my tummy is without hesitating if I would get judged. She's so perfect then what about me? Although she's clumsy but she never despise me of anything. If she dropped my phone, I get mad and pissed off but when I do so to her, she'll just let the matter rests and say I'm more important than her Iphone 4. Why can't I do the same? What a selfish bitch I am.

It's going to be our 7th month on the first of November and right now, I'm hesitating about the future we could have. What if I gave her false hopes and brought her from heaven to hell? Who am I to do such cruel things to her because of my uncertainty? We cuddled to bed every night for 3 months and I feel weird sleeping alone and now I can't sleep because I didn't hear her voice and feel like crying but I told myself I wouldn't. The feeling is so fucked up, I don't think anybody would understand. Never loved someone so much before,

Look at how silly I could get with her:

I always cared about how I looked but I don't when she's around. I don't mind taking ugly snapshots of myself with patches of black charcoal mask on my face. She always meant well for me, always think of me. Like she knew I'm going home so she got me a hello kitty by luck below.

After I'm together with her, I got lazier. My make up went to 0 because I know she loves me for who I am and not my face. Because at her house, we discovered that there's portable aircon but it got really cold that the blanket isn't enough to keep us warm, she got me a pair of candy striped socks!

Isn't it the sweet things that people do that makes you feel loved everyday? Not just so, she made me tang yuan because she knew I loved them and for the whole week, she cooked that for supper to make me happy! She'll apply cream on me when I'd get bitten and wake up early to shower so I could sleep longer before work and get her ass up to get me supper or food that I craved for. Nobody treats me better than she do and nobody loves me more than her.

If I suggest stupid games like Maplestory, she would never say, "Huh.. don't want la! Play this game instead." She'll just create and account and download the private server and we go training in virtual together while being otp. Or she plays Pokemon on her nexus 7 and download it on my pc so I can join her in the game and we can share what kind of Pokemon we caught in the game. That idiot watched ultraman btw, I guess that's the show I totally showed no interest in but other than that, we would cuddle and watched Hongkong dramas on funshion or maybe pretend to sleep when her parents are in the room.

Not to forget, this is our son. The one I kept asking for it and she lied to me it's for free but she paid a sum for it despite being cash tight. U-yu is a Korean name which means milk b/c she's white. Now this chinchilla is at my house even though she misses him but she let me keep him. :( The more I write, the more I feel horrible about myself. Fuck it seriously.

We spent quite some time assembling the cage and we kept buying stuffs to cover Boobie's mouth so that it doesn't bark at that delicate creature. I even ate with her buffets and everything, I don't even eat infront of my boyfriends because I think I looked horrible when I eat. (I know it's funny but yeah that's how I think). We'll think about our future even though I'm afraid to settle down but I really wish they would come true..

We can buy a pack of cig and chat about anything under the sky. It's like I don't have to care about what I say, like she won't think I'm stupid or what. We'll share our family backgrounds, secrets and point of views. We always discuss about things and we don't stop each other or change each other's points of view if they aren't wrong. She always make sure I go home or go to bed before she do. It's like being with her, I can have a future but it only pisses me off because she always do things clumsily which make me lose my cool. I really hope I have self-control too. 7 months in a relationship is very long for me, mine hardly last more than a few weeks. It's like wow.

We promised to migrate together, to get married somewhere else. To explore lands and to go to Japan to experience snow together. To have a house of our own or maybe adopt kids to let them live better than they used to. To do good deeds everywhere in the world. That's our dreams and we'll work hard towards it. That's the kind of person I'm looking for in life just that I'm not ready to settle down. I want a person that won't say I'm silly and be silly with me, I want a person that tells me that we can do it.

I hope I'll stop being so playful and would be mature soon.
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Last but not least, I hate people that judge us. Even when I used to be straight, I never judged people that are gays/lesbians/bisexual. Just because you're not any of the above, doesn't mean others are wrong. I'm happy with her and some idiots said I'm pretending to. For what I pretend to be happy? If I am, of course  I am. Why should I lie? If I don't feel happy with her, then I feel happy with you meh? Don't try to be funny leh. I love her more than any of the guys I met and if you asked me who I love most and I said it's her, don't say it's ridiculous and untrue because are you me? Who are you and what are you to determine how I feel towards someone? By doing so, you'd be on my nerves only. People that wanted to break us up are retarded because you won't gain anything from doing so. So wake up that idea. Especially my friends, because if so, I rather not have the friendship than someone whom tries to control which direction I want to go in life. I don't interfere yours, you don't interfere mine and when I respect yours, I expect vice-versa k.

I'm proud to have her and never regretted knowing her.
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Of course, not to forget to thank to my precious baby girl - ReginaLLK ♥ ♥ ♥

Throughout ups and downs for 5 years and above, you'd never left me despite our tiffs and how serious our quarrels are. I treasure the bond we share and your existence in my life, always so thankful to have your listening ears to let me rant and your words to wake me up when I'm confused. My pillar of support to decisions I make and the energy I carry on to the things I've to do in life. I hope you'll score well for O'levels as well as not get ill because you're one weak sickling! I love you very much, thanks for all those never-ending supports and love towards me. You're definitely someone I can never live without, heh heh. Lecturing me at fb chat now btw.. sigh. Kk gonna reply to lectures already, bb people!

Happy birthday to JSZE! ♥

Hi, updated my bio! Wanted to blog about something but shall talk about what happened a few days ago. Went to Joan's birthday and yeah, a picture of us whom attended. The birthday girl was too busy to talk to us and Izy was really cute, he bbq marshmallows for me haha.

I missed my girls so I'm pretty glad that I went because it's like a bonding session! Had plenty of photospams and all of us trying to squeeze into the photo! ♥ Glad to have them in life because true friends aren't easy to find hahaha not like ah mao ah gou on the streets lol! Surprised Ashley went because this girl was so busy with her poly life, I thought we were forgotten :'(

Nowsaday the people so rude ah, the loh cici say I'm from China because I'm carrying a silver sequined bag! Walao I really love that bag so much and I really think very pretty leh!! >:( So rude!! Oh, we were late because it's raining and I made the pregnant woman wait for me for 2 hours! Aiya but in the past I also waited for her more than that... hahaha okay la. So we mrt-ed to Hougang then cab down while waiting for Kenneth. Seriously leh hungry pregnant lady really cannot afford waiting time to nom, really is don't care just eat on the train!

Weikian keep say me leh really, then say I didn't contact him for soooo long. :( Anyway, I know my fringe got longer, but I'm giving a shot to longer fringe for at least half a year.. but I don't know why I miss my bangs. Sight, fuckle-minded! Cici, Ashley, Brenda and Khayen so nice, keep bbqing food for us, the pregnant lady just sit there and complain hungry only lor!

 I got fatter, sigh. Really need to slim down already! Anyway really been long since I camwhored. Brenda was being a huge entertainer for the night and Regina & I couldn't take it but laughed until our jaws are so sour!! Cabbed home with Khayen and went to Mac for takeaway. Hehe, short update only.. I haven't check my nuffnang if I still have readers here..

Last but not least..

MUA

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO

♥ ♥ ♥ FAT THIGH BABY GIRL ♥ ♥ ♥ 

OFFICIALLY 18 YEARS OLD ALREADY AH!

HOPE YOU ♥ THE PRESENT WE GOT FOR 

YOU!

A mini getaway from tears.

I need a place to rant so I'm back here. Had a quarrel with mom via whatsapp, I really don't get it. Why give birth to me when you're not ready for a child like that? Yes, you may say you'd never thought someone like you would give birth to someone like me and how mighty you're and how horrible I'd be. But fuck my life, not like I want to be like this. Okay, maybe you think I've a choice but I don't want to spend my this life being someone to please you instead of being myself.

You said you know me best but no, you don't at all. I can't even be myself infront of you because you're judgmental, you can't accept me for who I am and label all my friends as bad company. You'd never like me the way I am and definitely my pals too. Am I that lousy?

You said I looked down on you guys, I never once did. You always assume, you'd never once stood in my shoes. You're quick at assuming, you'd never once gave me a chance to speak for myself and when I do, it 
becomes an invalid argument because it's against you.
You twist the facts to get people to agree with you on how rebellious I am, how about times that I'm nice?
I guess nobody remembers the good parts about me. Remember that time I asked you to name some good points about me? 
You couldn't come out with any. Ha ha ha ha, actually me too.
It's okay, I'm never once good.

Like I said, you do not want a daughter, just someone to make you proud. I can't be that someone, so I'm always unwanted, always abandoned.
If I could be that someone, I would love to. I'd never get love from this family anyway, not fatherly love and very little of motherly love. 
A home? How does it feels like when it's warm?
To me, home is just a place to sleep in. Somewhere better than sleeping outside.
I hate myself. Hate myself for being incompetent.
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Does anyone knows the feeling of waking up everyday feeling unwanted? Feeling you lack love?
The person that gave birth to you tries to bring you down everytime she has a chance to? I've plenty of friends, I met people that were rude 
and morons that would make nasty remarks about me. But none of them were up to my mother's standard, not only losing her in sarcasms, 
her words were like sharp daggers stabbing through you and making you remember the significant pain in every word she spoke.
Sometimes, I wonder why do I deserve this kind of harsh treatment. Because I'm rude? But look, look at the way you reply me. 
How do you expect me to be talking nicely? I've a temper too..
Ridiculous, especially in the way you can always make me cry so easily.
I cared too much, about you and your opinions which I never did towards anyone else's. Fuck, why?
Even as typing this, I'm tearing.
Goodbye.

誕生日おめでとう ♥

Hi... okay maybe nobody comes and read this space anymore since I've neglected it for 3 months+! I've almost no time to blog and within this time space, many things have happened. I lost a good friend of mine and currently not in good terms with my mom. Moved out to stay with my girlfriend and life goes on as usual, I guess? Nothing much really changed.. I hope. :) Still strong, still striving to live the same. Hope my readers are living well too!

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Okay, my purpose of blogging today is to wish my dearest girlfriend a very very very..

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ♥

Baby, I'm guilty for not being able to give you a surprise or even any satisfactory celebration on a day that's important to you. I'll make it up to you next month, I promise. I hope you still enjoy your birthday, I hope you'll always be healthy and happy. Nothing matters more than the smile you should wear everyday.

 

I have no idea how to put my gratitude into words, how fortunate I am to have you by my side. Us, getting together shocked plenty of people around me and that there's many whom opposed this decision. But you had this amazing thing about you that made them accepted us in every ways. Many people questioned my choice of being together with you, they asked if I were just playing with you. At first, I used this mindset of trying out with you, but I didn't expect falling deeper, falling uncontrollably for you. I didn't expect you were this awesome, you to be this sincere. I always thought love is a come and go thing, I always think that it's no big deal to lose a partner because the next one would come by anyway, but no.. I do not want to lose you at all. I want to be with you, not forever maybe, but definitely as long as possible. I believe you didn't expect much from me at the start of this relationship either because I'm very far from your perspective of the cup of tea you prefer. But nevertheless, we still ended up together and still happy together now.

 

I never put in so much effort in a relationship before, or ever been this serious. I won't meet the lovers I had in my past for more than twice in a week because I think I'll get tired of them or even vice-versa. But towards you, I don't care if you'll ever get sick of my face, I feel very weird if I don't meet you for more than a day. Love is between anyone and the similarity in gender doesn't stop you from doing so. I adore you for who you're and I'm so lucky to be able to find someone like you whom accepts me for who I am. I never thought that I've been searching for someone whom is able to allow me to be myself infront of the person. 

When we weren't living with each other, I love the way we'll chat on the phone every single night or even webcam because we missed each other. Now, we don't have to do all these because I've you cuddling me to bed every night. We'll wake up in the late evenings, go out/stay at home and cook a simple meal then watch movies till dawn breaks and fall asleep in each others' arms again. We go to school together, work together, see each other almost everyday and yet I still can't get bored of your face, I'll never have enough of you. I can no longer live without you for you're the reason I'm so dependent on you, so you've nowhere to escape anymore. I'll cuff you by my side towards forever! Are you afraid now? Hahaha. Without you, who would brush their teeth with me, give me morning kisses, feed me food and pamper me? Who would feel heart pain when I hurt myself, who would appreciate the little things I do, who would put in effort to know more about me? Who would tolerate my bad temper, my nonsense and who will do funny faces with me and not just be my partner in a relationship but also like a best friend, a soul mate? There's nobody like you and since I've found the one and only, I won't let you off so easily. ♥

Once again, 

生日快乐♥♥♥

The 4 months together with you have been a joy and we have spent 134 days as a couple already.

Still looking forward to every single day and counting down to more days being together with you,

I love you, kthc. ♥